Socks Without Partners

Jail Babies ... MOM GOT A NEW GATE!

In my unending attempt to keep my children safe from harm, I found a new weapon.

The Metal Foot-Release Pressure-Mounted Baby Gate.

Thank you, JEEEEESUS!

What a bargain at $59.97, even if the gal totally overcharged me and now I have to take the receipt BACK to Zellers and get my $10 + tax back from the grips of the sweaty, greasy-haired, underpaid, bitter-because-I-got-kicked-outta-trade-school-for-showing-up-drunk-again customer service clerk at the front counter.

My children -- and BEAGLES -- are now unable to escape from the living room into the kitchen where I keep all of the BEST food. Instead, they must watch from behind the white bars while I ingest the last of the Two-Bite Brownies, the last of the chocolate milk, the last bag of Act III microwave kettle corn, and the last of the Tin Lizzy Cheesecake ice cream drizzled with the remnants of the Hershey's chocolate ice cream topping. Yummmmmmy!

Life's a bitch ... and so is their mother!

posted by JSY @ 2:05 PM 2 comments

Diggin for Gold -- THIS ONE IS FOR BLAKE! 060905

Brudder Blake, this one's for you.

This picture, that is.

I won't save you whatever Brennan mined out of his head. That's just GROSS.

I actually told Bren to pretend to pick his nose, which he was thrilled to oblige considering I'm ALWAYS telling him that if he doesn't remove his finger from his nose, the monster that lives on the other end will bite his fingertip off. (Ever read Shel Silverstein's poems? Mine is not an original threat.)

Brennan thought it would be great for Brudder Blake/Dobby to see this photo. So, Dob, like I said, this one's for you.

posted by JSY @ 1:57 PM 2 comments

Allohammora! 060905

THIS is Harry Potter's hand. On a massive foamcore poster we have in the basement (we got it for $5 at the Calendar Club store in January--they were closing their doors and selling all of the marketing paraphernalia, and this is VERY cool).

posted by JSY @ 1:52 PM 0 comments

Eskimo Slumbering by Brennan 060905

Once again, by Brennan. Nice. Eh?

posted by JSY @ 1:51 PM 3 comments

A Study in Bamboo (and Mom's feet) by Brennan 060805

The next three photos (scan from here UP) will be a study by Brennan. He got a hold of my digital camera and while I would normally freak because a 3-year-old had hold of sort-of-an-expensive piece of digital equipment, I was rather surprised when I downloaded these photos. For no other reason than I was impressed that he managed to hold the camera still long enough to capture something besides the wall.

This is the bamboo mat we have in the kitchen to cover up the really, really ugly Lino that the cheap landlords refuse to replace / reimburse US for replacing. So bamboo it is. Oh, and my feet. Thank heavens you can't see my toes. Dr. Seuss would have written stories about my toes.

posted by JSY @ 1:50 PM 0 comments

Thought of the Day

RECENT CONVERSATION:

Brennan: MOMMMMY!

Mommy goes into Brennan's room where Brennan is SUPPOSED to be napping.

Mommy: Yes, Bren?
Brennan: I LOST IT.
Mommy: You lost what, Bren?
Brennan: I LOST IT!
Mommy: Bren, WHAT did you lose?
Brennan: It's down there -- I lost it.

Mommy proceeds to stick her hand down behind Brennan's bed to retrieve the lost, yet-unnamed item.

Mommy: Bren, what is it I am looking for?
Brennan: MY BOOGER!

Mommy then proceeds into the kitchen where she lights her hand on fire to sanitize it from any offending booger germs.

Why didn't you people WARN me about boys????

posted by JSY @ 10:56 AM 1 comments

I gotta go take a shower ...

No photo for this post. Camera is upstairs and most of the pics lately have been taken by Brennan -- he LOVES the camera -- and the other day he was doing a study of the floors in the house. Actually, he was trying to take pictures of me, the cat, his brother, the fish, etc. Unfortunately, he doesn't quite have the patience to wait for the camera to do its red-eye thing with the flash, so he ends up capturing glimpses of the floor. Sort of interesting, actually, to see how different the floors look in my house. There was one commonality: they're all messy.

So ... yesterday I had all of this inspiration for a funny blog entry while in the shower. But then I turned the faucet off and the ideas all rinsed down the drain. Again.

Instead, my thought for the day:

Greg Wiggle is hot. So is Anthony.

If you don't know who or what the hell a Wiggle is, congratulations, you LUCKY bastard, you.

And my husband doesn't mind that I say that 'cuz he'd probably agree. That is, if he was that way, you know. *wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more*

FRUIT SALAD, YUMMY YUMMY ... COLD SPAGHETTI, COLD SPAGHETTI ... DOROTHY the DINOOOOSAUR ... TABA NABA ....

The Wiggles are an Australian children's entertainment group and they are all the rage in this house. The first time I saw them was at a daycare that Brennan briefly attended -- Charlotte had The Wiggles on and I thought there was something seriously wrong with four grown men who dance around in primary-colored long-sleeved shirts and sing and dance and act like freakish 'little-bus' riders. I told her they looked like pedophiles. I think I offended her.

But recently, we watched a few episodes on Treehouse. And we watched Kendon DANCE. The little bugger pulled himself UP onto the TV cabinet and started dancing. He was quiet, transfixed, mezzzzmerized for an entire 22-minute episode. FASCINATING.

Kendon the boogie machine. Kendon the music junkie. Kendon the Wiggly Wiggly Wanker.

So now all members of our dwelling can all sing along to 'The Wiggles' myriad of hot hits for tots, including those mentioned above. Yesterday our Perfect Last Child had to have four shots, and in recognition of his heroic efforts (what choice did he have??? Those of you who are anti-immunization, save it. I'm busy and I don't wanna debate this today--maybe next week.), I promptly took him to Zellers and let him choose a new Wiggles video. Yaun and I held up a selection in front of him and he picked his favorite by grabbing the cellophaned package and chewing the corners off. Good little beaver!

On a non-Wiggles related note, I have given notice on one of my biggest accounts because I canNOT manage this insanity of the work thing and the kid thing and the flaky babysitter thing and the manager/kiss-ass thing and I'm just not cut OUT for all this. SO -- hopefully after the 16th, life will calm a bit. I am taking the website down this month so this blog will be the Place To Go for info on the kidlets and the sum total of our mental health (usually a low sum). And then maybe those individuals in my life who have some weird burning desire to make me feel like shit because I don't breathe for my kids will back off. Oooh, harsh!!!

I started this entry three hours ago -- Brennan is vegging out in front of a video game with a healthy snack of fishy crackers, sour cream, vegie chips (baked, not fried!), and probiotic yogurt (trying like hell to get him to poo) -- and my sweet vaccinated Kendie-Q is napping. I'm going to SHOWER now. Because I CAN.

This wasn't a very funny entry. I think my funny needs a shower. If I manage to find any inspiration in the cleansing process that is about to commence, I will live to blog yet again.

posted by JSY @ 9:00 AM 0 comments

KQ passport photo 053105

I know, I'm a bit thick in the Kendon photos today, but that's what happens when they're little-little...you take lots of photos. And THIS one is from the passport photo counter at Costco yesterday -- it's totally unusable for his passport, but the lady taking the photo was cracking up so much that I just had to buy it. Every time she tried to take Kendon's photo, he cracked this goofy beaver-tooth smile. Makes ya sorta wonder if he ever gets his picture taken, eh? Okay, duh, I know the REASON he hams it up in front of that flashing silver box is because his mother is a camera-happy moron who has flashed here and there and everywhere since the moment of his arrival.

But isn't that a face that just says, "Take my picture -- you know you waaaaaaannnnnt it." (For those non-Canadians / non-residents, that's a rip-off from a Cheez Whiz ad. And Cheez Whiz is to Canada as salsa is to Los Angeles.)

ANYWAY -- I am all over the place here -- probably has nothing to do with the fact that it is NOW 4:42 am and I have just spent the last four and a half hours curled up with Kendon nestled in the crook of my left arm on the little tiny sofa in his room because he was having a rough night (cold? molars? bad dreams?) so now I'm cold to the bone, I have a stiff neck, AND when I woke to put him back in his bed, I couldn't find my glasses -- not until I heard this cracking plastic sound underneath my gihugic ass. I found 'em. They're tweaked. Not broken, but tweaked. They're also only three months old. And they're gonna work, tweaked or not.

Here we go again -- I had to take Yaunna and the Boyz to Costco yesterday to get these dorky photos done because Immigration FINALLY sent us confirmation of our application for permanent residence -- HALLELUJAH -- after waiting for three years and one month. Today is the three-year, one-month anniversary of the date we made our initial application, in fact, so I'm quite apprehensive about what the final steps of process will entail. We have our "interviews" today at 1 pm, and I am just HOPING that this whole thing is finally over, that they really will decide to let us stay, that we're not going to be sent to the salt mines to mine salt for eternity (I don't think they really do that, do they? Do THEY?), that they will take the horrible photos in which we were NOT allowed to smile, and laminate them onto a little card that says, 'Permanent Resident.' THAT way I can go into the US and be allowed to reenter Canada without a hassle. You'd think I were a terrorist or something and not just a frumpy mom with a craving for American Oreos and Red Vines.

Watch out, Target! HERE I COME! Someone please let the conglomerate know that any Chapter 12 bankruptcy protection can be avoided now that I will be allowed back into the country to stabilize their monthly revenues.

SO when we had our dorky, unsmiling photos done, I shot two birds with the same stone and had Kendon's done for his passport. Needless to say, Passports Canada won't allow me to use this smiley photo (Canadians like to look tough for the rest of the world???) -- the gal was able to snap a less smiley photo eventually, but not until our giggling had attracted the attention of all the irritated new Costco members who were waiting rather impatiently in the line behind us for their own photos to be taken for their new membership cards.

I just had to buy a set of these -- how could I let her just erase this FACE? I bought a set of two, came home and laminated them both (yes, I have a business card-size laminator -- VERY fun), and now Daddy and I can carry smiley boy 'round to share to the world.

If this photo doesn't make YOU smile, then you should get your heart checked. Make sure it's ON.

posted by JSY @ 4:52 AM 4 comments

BOO! 051905

What a GOOFY kid!

In order to fully appreciate this photo, you have to have some context.

It was a dark and stormy night...

Actually, it wasn't. It was an average spring day in our little part of the world, not too hot, not too cold (and for those of you who are sort of geographically challenged and Canada-ignorant, we are directly above Washington State -- our weather is quite similar to Seattle's so pay closer attention to those ridges of high pressure along the coast of the Pacific NW -- that's US -- oh, and there is no three-hour difference in British Columbia if you share the same West Coast that runs along the Pacific Ocean, which the majority of you reader peoples do). ANYWAY, Sir Kendie-Q was TOTALLY not interested in letting Mommy get anything done (imagine that) so we were playing. More like he was climbing all over me and trying to eat the camera. I used the red eye mechanism on the Olympus with this shot, so I'm wondering if I did any lasting retinal damage with the close proximity of the camera to his chubby-wubby face. Hopefully not, but if so, it's sure a funny picture. I can already see it in 4' x 6' projection on the canvas in the gym for Grad Night -- that's when all the 18- and 19-year-olds are finishing their secondary/high school educations and being embarrassed all to hell by their parents with the baby picture slide show, and all the parents are weeping like babies as they wonder where all those years went, a veritable slide show for them, too, wondering why everything is 'sliding' away so quickly -- from the gravitational forces on their aging bodies (skin, boobs, buns, the wobbly under the arms, OTHER parts prone to 'slip-slidin' away'--use your imagination) and of course, the slippage of time. I see this photo now and I know that my little man adores me, and I him, and POOF! Tomorrow he will be two weeks shy of his 15th birthday, just like his oldest brudder.

All that from one little snappy...I need to get out more often.

posted by JSY @ 4:37 AM 2 comments

Jesus According to Ashleigh at age 15 (2)

This is one of those pieces of art that I find visitors to my home either love or just don't understand. This is Jesus in the eyes of a very creative and talented 15-year-old girl, a girl who is now a woman of 21. If you just LOOK at the painting -- and to give it justice, it's nice to see it in real life, though I gotta say, this digital camera does a damn fine job of showing the color gradations (Husband, did I use that word correctly?) and the levels and the texture that is included just in the paint itself -- I can't look at this painting long enough. Part of my attachment is borne of the fact that I watched its conception, the splitting of its atoms and nucleic material into a living piece of art, appearing before me on the canvas in that blistering hot kitchen in the folks' house in LA.

That sounded really pompous, but damn, it's something to watch art happen out of the fingertips of a child. Especially when that art is something WAY beyond rainbows and horses.

posted by JSY @ 4:21 AM 1 comments